tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22675083747216740502024-03-13T12:21:05.466-07:00Experimenting with Myself and OthersHajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-86024025924257423462012-12-31T12:37:00.002-08:002012-12-31T15:26:38.025-08:00A Divine Triangle<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I had an amazing moment the other morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was riding the Red Line to work before
sunrise. Suddenly above Dorchester Bay appeared the nearly full moon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so large and close that it nearly took
up the entire train window I was looking out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I was lost in the utter beauty of the spectacle, an epiphany hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was involved in a triangle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The triangle consisted of the moon, the
unseen sun shining on it and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
had already begun working on this blog about the divine triangle of marriage
so the metaphor bowled me over.</div>
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My marriage is a divine triangle consisting of God, my wife and myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like the sun shining on the moon, I know that
God is present in my marriage, even when I don’t see God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I am very aware of God's presence and my
marriage seems very bright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I
become forgetful about God's presence and my marriage seems shadowy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God, in fact, is the glue that holds my marriage together.</div>
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I don’t want to use this space to try and analyze God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is beyond comprehension.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for the sake of clarity as this essay
moves forward God, to me, is the omniscient, omnipotent, compassionate
master of the universe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being
omnipotent, God can exist with form or without form, straight up energy – woooo
– or human body, woah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know people
fight wars over this question of God in a body and what body, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Whether you believe God inhabits a body and what that body looks like
is not important to me now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I suggest if you believe that God incarnated in a human body, as Christians, many Hindus and others believe, seeing that embodiment of God as a partner in your
relationships, especially your primary relationship can be, well, a
Godsend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you believe God is too
magnificent to fully incarnate in a single human body, as many Jews and Muslims believe,
you can imagine the nonphysical force of God as a connecting energy in your
relationship.</div>
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The belief that God is a partner in the divine triangle of my marriage has saved this relationship more times than I can count.</div>
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In fact, my wife and I recently went through a period of high marital
discord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The actual reason is less
important than we both felt misunderstand, hurt and angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At times like this God is a savior in my
marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am reminded that I fight
with my wife from a place of ego and she fights with me from a place of ego and
God is beyond that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I realize there
is a yearning in my soul for an egoless love that my wife, best human friend I
have, cannot come close to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I realize I sometimes expect things from my spouse that I can only
get from God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the marital discord encourages me to refocus on my primary relationship with God. Then, as my closeness to God
deepens, ironically, so does my closeness to my wife because they, these two
other points of my marital triangle are not so separate and distinct from one
another and from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality, we are
all connected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are all one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I forget that, the
omniscient, omnipotent, compassionate master of the universe can remind me that God’s presence blesses
my marriage.</div>
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Sometimes it's hard to remember my marriage is a
blessing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With egos clashing all over
the house, sometimes it's hard to remember that God is a partner in this play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At other times, though, an epiphany hits me so hard and it's so obvious that God is present,
I well up with gratitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
times when life, including my marriage, becomes shadowy and murky, I invoke the remembrance of God so I don’t
forget the sun is always shining somewhere.</div>
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<br /></div>
Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-667430602192378732012-11-29T17:14:00.001-08:002012-12-01T07:24:54.348-08:00Son of Alzheimer's<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Alzheimer’s is a bitch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My mom’s mind is not totally gone yet, but it’s going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She still remembers my name and my father’s
and my sisters’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She knows we’re related
to her but the whole son, mother, daughter, husband dynamic may be beyond her
reach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My family
all take shifts so he is never alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the worst parts of the disease for me is
she forgets to go to the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes we help her in the bathroom just in time for her to pee or
poop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually she just pees or craps in
her diaper and we have to help her clean up later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She always resists when one of us tries to get her in the
bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She cries, “No!” and screams
like a baby with her mouth open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of
her teeth are gone which is ironic because she used to be very stylish, maybe
even a little vain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The woman she used
to be would have cringed if she could have looked into the future and saw what
she would become.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But now she doesn’t
care: her teeth, her hair, her urine, it’s all good. She’s in another place.
The family does our best to keep her clean and neat, but after an hour getting
her to go to the bathroom, some of the finer points of hygiene seem to recede
in value.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I go and sit with my mother four to six hours every weekend
while my dad goes out and runs errands and clears his head from taking care of
my mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my sisters watches mom
during the week while my dad works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s
83 and still working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it keeps
him young and healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My other sister
goes over one afternoon and one evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another cousin helps out a couple of evenings a week when my dad works
late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone wants to keep her at home
as long as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sisters are
better with her hair and nails then I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I specialize with toileting assistance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the first times I helped her use the toilet I was
trying to help her wipe afterward and the fact that I was her son hit her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not in the crazy baby scream voice that she
used at the beginning of the procedure, but in a more aware, shame filled
voice, she tried to push my hands away and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>told me, “No, no, stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want you to do that.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said, “I don’t want to do it either, but it’s got to be
done” and finished the job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I’m helping her clean up after toileting, it’s weird to
think that’s the vulva I came into the world from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never heard my mother use the word
vulva.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was the kind of lady who would
have told me the stork brought me if she thought she could still get away with
that in the mid sixties when I was a little boy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After toileting she goes back to her chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father got her one of those fancy
recliners that also push you up when you’re ready to stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom is never ready to stand when we have
to take her to the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we push
the controller to make the chair goes up she screams, “No!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, when directed, she puts on her slippers
with help and walks to the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
used to have a cane, but we took it away because she would swing it around and
try to hit everyone with it so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, she
has a walker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She doesn’t like to use it
as much as the cane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s too heavy and
awkward to pick up and hit anyone with.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Most of her teeth on the top are missing except for one that
is slightly protruding in front.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Before she got sick, she took good care of her teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had all her own teeth until Alzheimer’s
hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then she started to lose them quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her old dentist had retired by that point and
she remembered enough to remember she didn’t like my father’s dentist so she
started to get her teeth pulled at my dentist’s office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was kind of embarrassing to take her to
this place where they just knew me as a cool dad, but it gave me a kind of
strength to do that too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is my
mother, dammit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We did take her cane
away before she went in the dentist office.</div>
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her fitted for dentures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard to
get her not to bite the dentist when he was measuring her mouth. She usually
asked him first, “Should I bite you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
always answered in the negative, but sometimes she tried anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My job was to kneel next to the chair and if I
couldn’t stop her, to pry her mouth open before she did any damage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dentist never got pissed, although he
clearly didn’t enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He works with a
lot of children and was probably used to unruly patients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On one of my individual visits, he told me
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dentures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was during the time when
the family would leave her home for an hour or two alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She only left the condo once in many hours of
being alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since she and my dad live
on the second floor of a senior condo building the chances of her getting
totally outside with no one seeing her were minimal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless, we stopped leaving her alone
after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even before that we had stop leaving her alone much because
every once a while another resident burns something on their stove and this
amazingly loud fire alarm goes off throughout the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The place is independent living, but when the
alarm goes off a staff person from downstairs goes to that condo and can usually
get the alarm to go off by opening a window and fanning the smoke out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The situation doesn’t seem dangerous fire
wise but that alarm scares the bejeezus out of my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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The alarm makes her more upset than anything I’ve seen since
she’s gotten sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She curses A LOT and
looks very panicked when the alarm sounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not a good scene
even a family member is with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's painful to contemplate how freaked she would get i</span>f the
alarm went off when she was alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One time when it went off the fire department
came and all the residents had to leave their apartments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t there, but my sister said when she
led our mom out they walked past a fire fighter and mom cursed him right the
fuck out, really loudly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bet that made
his day, old lady cursing him out.</div>
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upstairs with her new dentures in and left her for an hour until my dad came
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he got home the dentures were
gone, t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">otally missing, not in her mouth, not anywhere else. </span>We all looked everywhere we could imagine and they never turned up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another
Alzheimer’s mystery. That was a year ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think dentures were too big to flush, but it’s like $1200 down the
toilet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s why she has the tooth
sticking out in front.</div>
Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-85930388270832089122012-10-31T18:28:00.001-07:002012-10-31T18:34:47.088-07:00Thug AftaLife <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Some women want a bad boy</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Some sistas want a thug</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">We men are simple minded</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Drug dealin, drivin SUVs</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">With rims that spin at lights</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Truck loaded down with guns and girls</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Always ready for a fight</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">If brotha wants to stay in school</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">And get a downtown job</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">They say he’s acting soft and white</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Easy prey cause he ain’t hard</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">You should know I love the playa</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">It’s the playin that I hate</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">With life on earth so precious</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Thuggin makes it second rate</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">We evolve through untold eras</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Our potential is divine</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Then God’s own image ravaged</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">By some asshole with a nine</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">I imagine I can save a thug</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">So I keep em in my prayers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Cause the road to hell is littered</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">With thugs finally showin fear</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">You may be a menace to society</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">But to Satan you’re a whore</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">He’ll be happy to do to you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">What the Supreme Court did to Gore</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Old Lucifer will screw your ass</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Up and down and left and right</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">He’ll do you in your face all day</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">And suck your soul up every night</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">The devil is a madman</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">You can’t escape him as your fate</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">In fact you need not die</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">For fire and brimstone to kick in</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">An empty, shallow life now </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Is the price you pay for sin</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">So don’t get trapped in thuggery</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">The cost of playin is too high</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">You miss the biggest joys in life</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">And suffer more afta you die</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">It’s never late to change your ways</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">And turn your life around</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Shift your focus and you can see</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">God has you on surround</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">I love to think of Malcolm Little</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">A hustler, pimp and thief</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Who cause a brotha prayed for him</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Became beautiful beyond belief</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Now, that’s a thug afta life for ya.</span></div>
Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-4914776110365240912012-09-30T16:35:00.000-07:002012-09-30T16:35:34.201-07:00Why I'm Not Getting On Facebook for At Least a Month According to Timeline, I joined Facebook January 2, 2008. I remember feeling ambivalent about joining. My life was already pretty full with no online social networking and I didn't see a big attraction to what I thought FB was offering me which seemed to me to be superficial observations on the lives of people I knew and the thousands of people I intended to befriend on the social networking site. I did not get on to look at family photos of people I knew and would come to meet, or see what people's mood were throughout the day or what they had for dinner. I got on for business reasons. I was writing a book and I believed there was no way one could become a successful author without having thousands of friends on FB. <br />
<br />
Now almost 5 years later I am still writing a book, the last revision of the one I was working on when I got on FB and I want a break - from FB, not from writing. I ended up liking FB more than I imagined. I wouldn't say I'm a stone cold addict, but I spend more time on FB than I would like. I write my book and I browse on FB nearly everyday. I usually do my book writing in one solid block in the evening averaging about 45 to an hour on weekdays. Two or three times that much on weekends. I write much more than I FB on the weekends, but during the week I probably spend a combined 45 to an hour at various points in the day reading the FB posts of my 510 friends.<br />
<br />
I love my FB friends: those I see everyday at home and work, those I have known several decades and see only rarely now and those I have yet to meet in person. But, I've had enough of this severely circumscribed structure for now. I see a compulsion growing in me for FB that I do not like. I am often amused by the posts, sometimes informed but very rarely educated. Yet, I keep going back looking for something that is not there. I think it's the humanity of my friends that is missing. I get bits and pieces of people's points of view. I get projections of their awareness. I get flat out titillation, but I never get their wholeness.<br />
<br />
There are friends I have yet to met who I would love to have a face to face conversation with, but I have never reached out to one with a request. Sometimes because they are a provocatively photographed female and I know where my head is. Sometimes because they are geographically far away. Mostly because I don't have time for a real face to face conversation even with people I know and love who I see on FB. This does not make me sad exactly, incomplete is more like it.<br />
<br />
Then there are the inanities. The bumper sticker philosophy sayings, the funny cat photos, the indecipherable comments and the loads of things I just don't care about. This is only a problem because I make it a problem by scrolling through these comments several times a day. I don't linger on the things that bore me, but I find myself wondering why am I back here. Nothing interesting happened to these 510 people in the past hour at least nothing that is FBable. So I'm through for now. <br />
<br />
My FB fast is a new experiment. I will come back in a month if I miss it. Longer if I don't. I still plan to use FB and lots of other social media to promote this fabulous book I am writing about facilitating groups for men who are parents. Although more broadly the book is about facilitating groups for people to connect on a deeper level than we can do on FB.<br />
<br />
I'll be thinking about you. Shoot me an email or give me a call if you want to be in touch.<br />
<br />
Love, HajiHajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-82250554513447655992012-08-30T19:07:00.000-07:002012-08-30T19:07:24.617-07:00Prince: An Appreciation (2004)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to see the Prince Musicology
2004Ever tour at the Fleet Center other night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a good show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d give it a
solid “B.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, none of these past
peak performers who used to put on a dazzling show can ever truly match the
intensity, creativity and sheer newness of an “A” performance in their
prime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s one of the few benefits of
taking the early rock star death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Neither critics nor fans need watch you deteriorate before their eyes.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m happy I went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The show was hyped for months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The tabloids screamed, “Prince regains his
mantle.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“His best CD in 10 years.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The only show of the summer to sell-out
everywhere.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prince had become a media
darling again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided to go after
reading an email interview with him in the Boston Herald.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was happy he said, “In truth, as a people,
we have 2 get back 2 God. In ALL things.” I brought tickets to “a nearly sold
out show” on the second day of a three-night stand in Boston.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although my date and I managed to move into
the second row of the balcony, there weren’t many empty seats at the Fleet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen Prince live three times before:
the “1999” tour at the Boston Garden, Purple Rain at the Long Island Coliseum
(by time this stoned head got around to buying tickets for the Boston Purple
Rain tour the teeny boppers had snatched them all up).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I was at the famous 1986 surprise show at
the Metro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dug him after the second
album, Prince, but was captured by his third release, Dirty Mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like he was a manifestation of my own
muse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was speaking directly to me and
my people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I rode the crest through
Purple Rain and hung in there for a few more CDs before giving up on him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a real bittersweetness in
watching an artist you love move into superstardom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was happy that more people were giving him
recognition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That he was being rewarded
financially for his gifts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That if a lot
of people are really digging him maybe you aren’t so far out after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, of course, there is the pleasure of
being prescient enough to see the diamond in the rough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the downside is strong as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw the teenyboppers, middle-agers and
generally unhip start coming around because the mainstream press pushes the
album or movie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And every magazine from
Ebony to People is putting your boy on the cover trying to cash in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though Prince had played big venues
on the 1999 tour when the Purple Rain tour hit town in 1995, it felt like my
family had suddenly adopted a bunch of nerdy fosterkids and now I had trouble
getting to the table for my food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
was strength in numbers, but I questioned these new folks’ commitment to the
vision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was that vision again?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reminded us of a bit of the vision the
other night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He chanted, “People call me
rude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish we all were nude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish there was no black or white, I wish
there were no rules.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In case that was a
little unclear, he also played “Dance, Music, Sex, Romance” which is perhaps
the most succinct verbalization of the vision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite, or because of all the sexual imagery, Prince was the preeminent
80s party guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Along with Rick James,
who recently died of “natural causes” following years of chemical abuse, Prince
was the supreme funkster of his time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
he started to slide in the 90s he spelled it out for all those too dense to get
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“My name is Prince and I am
funky.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was almost as sad as the
middle-aged ladies wearing t-shirts to the Musicology show claiming they were
“True Funk Soldiers.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As if a true funk
soldier would need to buy a $30 t-shirt to tell you that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The funky music was always there, but in
the early days it took a backseat to the sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That was the thing, of course, that put him over the top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe because he was still in his
post-adolescence when he tasted industry success, he captured a horny gestalt
with abandon and innocence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The girls
loved him because he was cute and always had boudoir ballads on his disks as
well as get up and dance jams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guys
loved him because he spoke what was on our mind, maybe nowhere better than
“Dirty Mind.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he did it with a
creative sense of humor and a funky downbeat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, with Prince, you also got something
else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You got a mysterious, spiritual
connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From chanting the Lord’s
Prayer on Controversy, to the psychedelic mushrooms on the cover of 1999, to
the “Love God” graffiti in Purple Rain, there was always a devotional element
to Princes music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And with a dearth of
interviews, he left the heads to interpret it however suited us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite the blatant sexual hedonism, I
always felt Prince was a spiritual artist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Given what has gone down in recent years, I feel vindicated in that
assessment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From early on he captured my
fascination with both sex and God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
didn’t want to give up either and he was clearly exploring and praising both in
his music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the sex was more in
the face, the God piece could be discerned if one looked for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s how God is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hung in with him for a few more once a
year albums after Purple Rain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even
went to see “Under the Cherry Moon” multiple times (once on mushrooms, although
I don’t recommend it).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even saw
Graffiti Bridge in a theatre – and stayed to the end.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember when I finally broke ranks with
his Purple Badness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the end of
“Around the World in a Day” he captures a conversation in the studio between
him and God in the song, “Temptation.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God takes Prince to task for the same things Tipper Gore had earlier,
his overt obsession with sexuality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Prince struggles with his Creator on the track.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Initially screaming, “Nooo!” at his
punishment, death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then seemingly reborn
reports, “Now I understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love is more
important than sex . . . I’ll be good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
promise.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a conversation few megastars could
pull off straight-faced, but then the boy from Minneapolis was always, ah,
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The singles from the LP,
Raspberry Beret and Kiss, both received substantial radio play and made
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Temptation wasn’t intended
for mass consumption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was sending a
message to the true believer that he was finally growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The creative tension between his adolescent
horniness and the mature artist sensibility had finally been resolved and,
well, the artist had won.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But any addict
will tell you that relapse is a part of recovery and it didn’t take long for
the musical sex addiction to reassert itself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither had my life remained stagnant
during all those album releases.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By now
I had found my own spiritual path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
personal connection to the Most High deepened, as did my boredom with the
general sameness of the Minneapolis sound over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The life of Prince and my own life had shared
several interests and parallels over the years, but around 1990 we began to
grow apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was married with children
and the attraction I used to focus on Prince’s life I now dedicated to saints
who took a more direct approach toward Love and God.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, just as I gave Prince credit for
gaining some sexual maturity, the Black Album fiasco occurred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to the rumor mill Prince was
working on this new collection of songs that he pulled before release because
they were too negative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Supposedly the
lyrics were too salacious even for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A bootleg copy of very poor musical quality came into my possession
around this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a major seller
by bootleg standards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, it wasn’t
even worth the bother of listening to seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I considered the entire album a very broken,
very public promise to, not only me, but more importantly to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had had enough.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was about 1992.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In all the years since then when I heard of
Prince it was like hearing about someone you used to love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a little curious what he was up to and
wished him well, but there was no passion, no desire to understand him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I heard he had become a Jehovah’s
Witness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I heard the news a couple of
years ago, before it hit the major media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A credible source at the periphery of his circle heard the rumor
swirling around Minneapolis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed
that Larry Graham of Graham Central Station fame had persuaded Prince into the
Kingdom Hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, that was
interesting!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Normally I’m not a fan of
religions whose mission includes convincing you your religion is wrong, but
this was too sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you imagine
Prince coming to your door with a Watchtower?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The irony of the purple pervert joining one of the must conservative
cults (I use that term not in a derogatory way, but as a concentration of
culture) in Christianity was just too good a story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My love for Prince returned because true
to form he had once again become <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">creative,
</i>which is by definition producing some innovative and different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is hard to imagine something more
different than the Prince we all knew becoming a Jehovah’s Witness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there was any doubt in my mind regarding
the authenticity of this rumor it evaporated when I caught the man’s induction
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
accepting his award from a gushing Alicia Keyes, he gave thanks to
Jehovah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen Prince “thank God”
at award ceremonies before and his change in language confirmed his conversion.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allow me to amplify the most peculiar
popular music/religious irony of our time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Michael Jackson starts his career as a Jehovah Witness youth with a
clean cut image and ends up perceived as a sexual degenerate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prince starts his career as a perceived
sexual degenerate and in middle age ends up a good guy Jehovah Witness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is it about this organization that
attracts two of the highest caliber black, male superstars?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I decided to go to the show, not
because Prince was promising to retire the old, sexy hits after this tour,
neither was it because I enjoyed his new CD – I hadn’t heard it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t even to see “real musicians
perform.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen that before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The driving force in me dropping $100 for my
wife and I to see the show was simply to pay respects to an old friend who
resurrected himself from the ashes of mediocrity by once again making a bold
move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really wanted to acknowledge
that he had changed his life and I was happy for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never doubted he could throw one of the
baddest parties in town and he didn’t disappoint in that either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the way, Prince didn’t get where he was
just being a kickass performer, the man is a brilliant marketer as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In his Herald interview, he talked about the
record industry as we know it being obsolete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know ripping off talented artists has been a mainstay of the music
business since before I was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also
understand changing his name to an unpronounceable glyph and writing slave on
his face had to do with confronting his former label, Warner Brothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in my book, any artist perceptive and powerful
enough to kick corporate America in its teeth deserves applause.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bought each of the first 10 Prince
albums when they were released (except for the first and second which I went
back and bought after Dirty Mind left no doubt he was a genius). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve already mentioned why after 1988’s
Lovesexy, I hadn’t bought another CD by the Artist Who Was Formerly My Favorite
Musical Performer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that was not
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I inadvertently purchased
Musicology when I bought my tickets to the show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prince, never shabby in the marketing
department, scored a coup by selling a cardboard covered CD with every
ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a successful tour, that
ploy was enough to push the Musicology CD to the top of the Billboard charts
over the summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, people like myself
who would have never bought the CD ala carte, now own it as part of the entrée.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And to be honest, I was curious to throw
it in and see what all the excitement was about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alas, it’s not for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some nice grooves to be sure, but when I want
to hear Prince, I want to hear the old stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The phrase “shadow of his former self” comes to mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that shadow still has more musical
substance and light than most people will ever manifest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I’ll dip into the archives every once and
awhile and treat myself to the emotional high I get from the first decade of
his output.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you want two more
copies of Musicology, you can have mine for shipping and handling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-75698121702656380872012-07-31T19:40:00.002-07:002012-07-31T19:40:33.620-07:00Reflecting on Dr. King<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
One of my earliest memories is sitting on
the steps going up to the attic of our house, I was looking down on the landing
below as my mother frantically ran between the phone, and the radio, and the TV
shouting, “They shot Dr. King! They shot Dr. King!” Even at 5 years old I knew who they
were. And I knew we were at war.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
When I was a young man, Dr King didn’t have
a lot of juice in my circles. This was
the early 80s and everyone was wearing X caps.
That is, if you dug baseball caps which I didn’t, but the idea was
Malcolm X was way more popular than Dr. King.
I had spent some time in a revolutionary organization started by Kwame
Ture, who used to be called Stokely Carmichael.
He had argued the desirability of non-violence with Dr King in the
60s. I was personally with Brother Ture
on several occasions and felt it was a great blessing to be with one who had
worked with and had the courage to disagree with Dr King.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLrH2BQacbV_sRPFiOsJ_aq3NPZwnSCkUq5uVlkX12pYBhhNBMbwRR_zeHMRibX9YYaRSvnckUP6BXTwLSZhSR5wUAE8NcabO-BBNUXOyiKcClJbtCh9Id590y438sE6pQzxZokwCJlkw/s1600/king+.+carmicheal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLrH2BQacbV_sRPFiOsJ_aq3NPZwnSCkUq5uVlkX12pYBhhNBMbwRR_zeHMRibX9YYaRSvnckUP6BXTwLSZhSR5wUAE8NcabO-BBNUXOyiKcClJbtCh9Id590y438sE6pQzxZokwCJlkw/s1600/king+.+carmicheal.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>Dr. King and Kwame Ture (aka Stokely Carmichael) during a Freedom March</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
As I got older, I started to appreciate Dr.
King more. His straight up courage,
creativity and discipleship impressed me.
I now see him as an example of faith in action; a demonstration of how
to attune to a high level of consciousness and to transform society from that
elevation. Albert Einstein said, “Our
current problems cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness at which
they were created.” Dr. King created
solutions to some of the most intractable problems we have, inspired by a high
level of consciousness.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
There is a famous photo of Dr. King taken
inside his Southern Christian Leadership Conference office in 1966. In the photo, Dr. King is standing in front
of a photo of Mahatma Gandhi. Think
about it, for a Black Christian pastor in the U.S. South to have a photo of a
Hindu holy man in a place of prominence in his office is a miracle of sorts, albeit
of a lesser order than desegregating the Birmingham public transportation. One can read a lot into that photo and I
choose to focus on its ecumenical flavor.
It says to me that Truth can be found in many faiths traditions and I
honor Dr. King for being courageous enough to not only learn from Mahatma
Gandhi but to acknowledge he was affected by the great Indian spiritual leader.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUogLgjjdFZutrSL2U75awV2DlqjRh-oXsx6fiaWc7loKicYrk6SUiBZOTNtAJqyHWyvEPN0-y9Is3BL60ojfye0FfkE0l0vAAxrEc1bNgrt3tlQzQx4S9KxvwEgLBT_eTDfjySVJ5PD4/s1600/king.+gandhi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUogLgjjdFZutrSL2U75awV2DlqjRh-oXsx6fiaWc7loKicYrk6SUiBZOTNtAJqyHWyvEPN0-y9Is3BL60ojfye0FfkE0l0vAAxrEc1bNgrt3tlQzQx4S9KxvwEgLBT_eTDfjySVJ5PD4/s1600/king.+gandhi.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>Dr. King in his Southern Christian Leadership Conference office</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
This is especially relevant to my life
because I’ve spent the last two decades studying meditation and yoga with an Indian
spiritual teacher. As a Black American
man I’ve definitely been in a minority on this quest. As a child, I was introduced to my
neighborhood Episcopal church under my mother’s tutelage. One of my first victories in the quest for
independence was convincing my mother to let me out of their Sunday school
program I hated. Apparently, she wasn’t
very committed to the church either because she and my sisters also left not
too long after I did and never found another.
My father didn’t do church. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
Although, years after my church defection,
as a young man, I read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda and
decided this was the life for me. Several
years later I met a meditation teacher, Mata Amritanandamayi, I remain with to this day. I mention this because my meditation practice
created another connection to Dr. King.
In 2003, I took my family on a pilgrimage to India for a meditation
festival. We read in the program guide
that Dr. King’s daughter, Yolanda, would be giving a talk. We knew that Yolanda King had met our teacher
in the U.S. so this wasn’t a big surprise. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTDeYuDr33X4nTS66NCsNvIsfKiiFgagaAztngl1vWf7J_H4rbWFr-ZllKnAwxdy0PqF2MFFS8UZQ24QsOBHKlgJX-lqtRCE1Gey-fFYIgy4kKcLxQ7TTfgpyJnoxCJiIafO9snLBAjCw/s1600/amma.+yolanda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTDeYuDr33X4nTS66NCsNvIsfKiiFgagaAztngl1vWf7J_H4rbWFr-ZllKnAwxdy0PqF2MFFS8UZQ24QsOBHKlgJX-lqtRCE1Gey-fFYIgy4kKcLxQ7TTfgpyJnoxCJiIafO9snLBAjCw/s1600/amma.+yolanda.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<i> Y<span style="font-size: x-small;">olanda King placing a garland around humanitarian and spiritual leader, Mata Amritanandamayi</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
</div>
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However, my wife and I were surprised one afternoon when we left the
meditation festival to get our shopping on in the local business district and
ironically on Gandhi Boulevard, we spotted Yolanda King walking with an
African-American female friend. They
were by themselves. Now catch this, here
we are four African-Americans together on the other side of the world, all
there for the same event, and my wife and I certified groupies. We’ve created opportunities to talk with
KRS-1, Angie Stone, Lenny Kravitz, and other minor stars. We are not shy and do not shrink around
Stardom. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
Yet, there was something so
different about Dr. King’s daughter that neither of us approached her. We just watched in awe as she looked over
some Indian clothing on the boulevard and we hold that memory in our heart as
more evidence of the family’s ecumenical spirit. Given that Ms. King died at a relatively age
a few years after this encounter, it reinforced for us that you have to grab
life when you have the chance because you may not get another opportunity.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
As an advocate for social justice, I love
that famous line from Dr. King’s 1963 Letter from a Birmingham Jail. For the young folks who missed this in
history class, Dr. King was in Birmingham, Alabama leading protests against
government and retail segregation he was arrested one of the 30 times during
his 39 years visiting Earth. While
incarcerated he wrote an open letter to some white clergy who had been
suggesting he chill with the rabble rousing. One sentence frequently lifted out
of that letter states, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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I want to remind you, however, of the less
talked about corollary to that law: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Justice anywhere is a threat
to injustice everywhere. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
Injustice may have seemed starker in Dr. King’s day. Evil appeared more exposed. Now issues of social justice seem to have
proliferated like the 600 stations on cable TV as opposed to the three channels
in the 60s. Today, it may be easier to get paralyzed by the choices of where to
confront injustice. Do you get involved
with the Occupy Movement, fight school inequalities, support refugee networks, promote
antiwar activities, join the movement to end sex trafficking? It can be overwhelming. A simple approach to the problem of injustice
that everyone can take on starts close to home; in your relationships, at work
and in the home.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
For years, I’ve organized groups that help
fathers explore and understand their family relationships. These programs have caused me to look at the
issue of interpersonal patriarchy and the right use of power with my wife and
children. Dr. King’s legacy will be
forever intertwined with all the other movements for social justice that grew
out of the Civil Rights movement. Social
justice struggles for women, immigrants, gays, even on behalf of children. When Dr. King was writing his letter from the
Birmingham jail, it was unlikely that a man would be arrested for what we would
commonly call wife or child abuse today. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
As a society, we’ve learned to live in
greater intimacy and harmony not only across diverse communities, but also in
our homes. One of the keys to Dr. King
work was the practice of forgiveness. One
can’t imagine Dr. King employing the strategy of non-violent civil disobedience
if he didn’t have a strong belief in forgiveness. As a Christian pastor he came by it
honestly. In the Book of Matthew, Jesus
instructs his followers, not to forgive seven times, but 77 times. Dr King echoed that idea two millenia later
when he said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it’s a permanent
attitude.” </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
My dictionary defines forgive as, to grant
pardon; and pardon, to release from penalty for an offense. You see how potentially problematic and
powerful this notion of forgiveness is.
The rational part of our mind rebels, thinking, if we don’t punish the
evil doers they will never learn.
However, as Christ and Dr. King taught, forgiveness is a powerful
strategy for transforming others and ourselves. We may not be strong enough to forgive those who thwart our human and civil rights. But what about those closest to us, who we profess to love?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
If I didn’t mention this my wife, son or daughter
would probably tell you that I haven’t mastered the forgiveness attitude. I live with two late adolescents, i.e., young
adults and their teenaged years were the most frustrating years of my life and
we’re still working it out. But, if we can’t learn to forgive the penalties of even a loved one in our family, how will
we manage to forgive all the other less related people doing stupid things out there? Forgiveness comes
easier when dealing with a loved one. And it's still hard.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
As of this past Sunday, I’ve been married
for 23 years and that has not always been a walk in the park either. But as difficult as my wife and children can
be to live with, the person I have to work most on forgiving is me. I still make a lot of mistakes and it can be
painful for me to look back at all the major blunders I’ve made over the
decades. With myself and others, I have clearly experienced that forgiveness; releasing myself
and others from the penalties of the offense is liberating, literally it’s
freeing for the person who does the forgiving, as well as the person who is forgiven. It gives a relationship space to start fresh and new, in a healthier place. <br />
<br />
I’d like to thank Dr. King
for echoing this truth around the planet in my youth. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQWRD1RyhmOQjFuudpnBPc5hXiQOZWPuadmmxuCgt6OfZFTJ5bVcSXzT7ogrUa_JPCs0mX7sMw-qEngpuR1jz0TlpEQHvi-yabTpwWX7NoOIE8mO0JYA1bPzEQ4Wurd67kZGnSgRvJOIk/s1600/Haji+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQWRD1RyhmOQjFuudpnBPc5hXiQOZWPuadmmxuCgt6OfZFTJ5bVcSXzT7ogrUa_JPCs0mX7sMw-qEngpuR1jz0TlpEQHvi-yabTpwWX7NoOIE8mO0JYA1bPzEQ4Wurd67kZGnSgRvJOIk/s320/Haji+1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<i>This blog is based on a talk I gave at Dr. King's 2012 Birthday Celebration in Arlington, MA.</i></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-3280514986870074902012-06-30T20:50:00.000-07:002012-06-30T20:50:42.342-07:00I Got Invited to the White House!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I was invited to the White House.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I know, to quote the vice president from
another context, “it’s a big fucking deal.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am grateful to my colleague in the Responsible Fatherhood community
who arranged for me to be on the guest list for the Champions of Change
event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am also grateful that the
current Head of State does not embarrass me so much that I would refuse the
invitation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who knew me in my
youth are probably surprised that I would ever be invited to the White
House.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a young man I was radical
enough to advocate the overthrow of the United States government.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t thoughtful enough to visualize
clearly what would take its place, but as I looked at the legacy of injustice
to Native Americans and African Americans, the people I most closely identify
with, I had little patience for the hypocrisy of the country that declared
itself the home of the free. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a short stint as a political
revolutionary, I tired of the contradictions in radical circles as well, i.e., revolutionaries
not treating other revolutionaries with kindness and respect, radicals not
living up to our own ideals about equality in relationships and progressive leaders
abusing power through their own human weaknesses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began devoting myself more to personal
development through yoga, self-reflection and relationship building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I never forgot the legacy of genocide,
slavery and Jim Crow that provided the foundation for the success of the United
States.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And even as the country evolved
through the Civil Rights and other movements for social justice and I
personally evolved through my self-improvement studies, I still maintained a
bit of a chip on my shoulder regarding America’s troubled past and present.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That chip did dissolve to some extent when
Barack Obama was elected the first African-American President of the United
States.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I visited DC more than half a dozen times before his election, but the first time I went to see
the home of the nation’s chief executive was in 2009.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in the city for a meditation retreat
with my 16 year old daughter and we made the pilgrimage to stand outside the wrought
iron fence with the other tourists getting high off the power flowing from the
mansion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact the nation’s first
Black president was in residence took some of the sting out of viewing the
executive mansion. However, I was not ignorant to the realities of politics and
governance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I greatly preferred Obama
to McCain, but I knew that all politicians at that level are beholden to corporate
interests not fully aligned with my own value system, to put it
mildly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was invited this month to visit the
White House for a briefing on the Responsible Fatherhood movement, an old
friend who has spent the last two decades as a federal bureaucrat graciously
agreed to host me the night before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His perspective
helped to open my eyes to the vastness of the federal government.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeing it so closely, I am left even more
stymied for a vision of what to replace this system of governance with if I
miraculously had the opportunity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three
decades ago, I abandoned radical politics to work on myself and that still
seems like the best solution to societal malfunction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Continuing to work on the relationships I
maintain with my wife, children, colleagues and most of all, with my higher
self still strikes me as the best way to improve the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXnpCmRfOnjpgjweX8VG9XWpskKPEDk2xYXe4nH02nzx4VmP0e45oGeiZSxs2ct0VkWdgmNT6opv2VRBrtTxfweVR0XODRcQnm4deaefny_jJclzAyicwIgHPKB2IDT4_wGJVR4AIq2KI/s1600/WH1+solo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXnpCmRfOnjpgjweX8VG9XWpskKPEDk2xYXe4nH02nzx4VmP0e45oGeiZSxs2ct0VkWdgmNT6opv2VRBrtTxfweVR0XODRcQnm4deaefny_jJclzAyicwIgHPKB2IDT4_wGJVR4AIq2KI/s320/WH1+solo.jpg" width="196" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all have an inner compass that guides
us and lets us know when we are out of integrity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all ignore that guidance at times, but
politicians as a group are held in low regard because they become expert
at ignoring that voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Politics is the art of compromise and requires bending one's values to make progress. Habitually bending one's values may distort the inner compass. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>To me, it's still amazing that 150
years ago the man who was 43<sup>rd</sup> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">President of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">U.S. could have literally owned the man who is the 44<sup>th</sup>
President, raped his wife with impunity and sold his children to a pedophile
with legally binding contracts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue regularly signed off on such madness. Don't even get me started on their interactions with the native people of this continent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>But, we
have come a long way. It was awe inspiring to walk the corridors where so many momentous decisions were made and powerful leaders strode. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk on that stage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>President Obama operates from a position that is in greater alignment with my own values than many of our national leaders and his presence in that mansion truly inspires me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet I realize he
is a figurehead for a massive organization with competing interests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In every great social advance, politicians
have followed people of conscience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By
studying and modeling the champions of change who developed the inner vision, fortitude
and persistence to live a life of integrity and goodwill, by transcending our
own pettiness and insecurities, by truly being the change we wish to see, the
planet will continue evolving toward relationships based on love, harmony and success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And politicians will follow.</span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-29814884012888338222012-05-31T20:39:00.001-07:002012-05-31T20:39:57.725-07:00Thinking About Sex<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">I think about sex a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">I’m 49 years old, and
I’ve spent much of the past four decades years thinking about sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve also spent too much time in Men’s
Circles to think it’s just me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I accept
a biological basis to these thoughts: I’m hardwired to think about procreation.
I love my family, I love nature, I love to write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But thoughts of these and other joys don’t
catapult into my mind with the frequency and intensity of sexual thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sexual thoughts are a category all their
own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Our lives are shaped,
however, not so much by what happens to us, but by how we respond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sexual thoughts haven’t diminished much
since I was a young man, but what I do with them has changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past, it was common for me to use my
imagination to undress and sex women throughout the day. At school, work, on
public transportation, in the street, all I needed was to see a pretty hairdo,
face, breast, stomach, ass, leg, foot, and the sexual visualization was
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If the woman was especially fine, I
might take the memory home and work with it when I had more time and
privacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my mind, I’ve sexed more
women than Wilt Chamberlain did in real life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Sexual thoughts still
arise spontaneously in my mind, but I treat them differently now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been a long time since I mentally
undressed a woman on the train and imagined full-out intercourse with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just isn’t as much fun as it used to
be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blame it on maturity, marriage,
being a father, a spiritual aspirant, or some combination, but I no longer
compartmentalize my sexuality outside of other aspects of my life. I don’t
treat the attraction in the same way, but as the old saying goes, I’m not
dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do feel it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">So what do I do when
I’m on the train, or at work, and I feel that familiar pull toward a pretty
face, breast, or buttock?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first
thing I do is breathe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That sends a
signal to my brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sharp intake of
breath is similar to, but different from, the instinctive “Oh shit!” in the old
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know the one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see a beautiful woman and your brain
immediately stops and says, “Oh shit!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At least, that was the phrase imprinted on my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Depending on the time and place of your
socialization, the phrase might be “Good golly!” or even “Jesus!” but it all
means the same thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to fuck her.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Through years of
training, I’ve reprogrammed myself to take a deep breath when I see a sexy
woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That breath sends an important
message to my brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It short-circuits
the adrenaline rush that is pushing my reptilian brain to fight, flight, or
freeze.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need this space because after
30 years of self-reflection, 20 years of monogamy, and 10 years of men’s
groups, my knee-jerk reaction to a beautiful woman is still to try and sex her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To engage in one of the oldest fights there
is: the sexual conquest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">The breath allows my
brain and my body to slow down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
reminds me I am okay just as I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t have to do anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sexual
thoughts can be very powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day
men throw relationships, careers, and happiness overboard because they followed
that “Oh shit!” down a slippery slope. This initial breath gives my heart and
mind time to catch up with my groin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
doesn’t diminish my pleasure in observing a beautiful woman. Au contraire!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It actually increases my pleasure because the
rush of sexual energy is circulated throughout my entire body.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Eastern systems of
healing, like yoga and tai chi, describe energy centers in the body. According
to these models, concentrated centers of vitality located along the spine
control health and disease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am in a state
of sexual excitement, my awareness is focused on the lower energy centers along
my spine, near my groin and belly button. If, feeling this sexual agitation, I
decide to pause and consciously breathe, I can literally feel my awareness lift
to the higher energy centers in my heart, throat, and head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For folks committed to exploring only the
physical aspects of sex this may be hard to believe, but I actually feel a high—similar
to my old drug experiences—when my awareness rises in this manner. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Nowadays, I find
pleasure in working to deliberately elevate my sexual thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trying to repress sex thoughts can be counterproductive.
It’s like pushing down on a balloon. It seems like you’re successful until you discover
the balloon bulging out in another area. Pausing to take a conscious breath
when I feel sexually excited doesn’t repress or deny the thought. It actually
revels in and expands the thought to include something greater than just the
sum of a woman’s sexy parts. It encourages connection with her spirit as well
as her flesh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">I don’t pretend this
is easy. If the attraction is intense it can take two or three or many more breaths
to shift my awareness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually,
though, I am able to enjoy an awareness of the source that animates the sexy
body part as well as the natural curve of the breast or butt or thigh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve found this is an excellent way to
harness, with integrity, the sexual thoughts that constantly bombard my brain
so when I gaze at a beautiful woman, the intense desire for sex can more quickly
be transformed into the satisfaction of simply being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-85476235439100818422012-04-30T18:47:00.000-07:002012-05-07T18:28:59.277-07:00Walking on Fire<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">“When you move beyond your fear, you feel free."</span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">Who
Moved Moved My Cheese?</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">Spencer Johnson, MD</span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9V2rVuNFuOYt6G2fgKJT-wIguR6YgpR4eY4cJZNuKb9kFVFPG-a8P6bIC8ShfxAybv1hdSWJWqTzFC-AyygRUDFdaQWe-aZyKvobMp5wGSsAOkrmhwWHZFek1oMAc5M9bG9hMCRq5Yx8/s1600/firewalk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9V2rVuNFuOYt6G2fgKJT-wIguR6YgpR4eY4cJZNuKb9kFVFPG-a8P6bIC8ShfxAybv1hdSWJWqTzFC-AyygRUDFdaQWe-aZyKvobMp5wGSsAOkrmhwWHZFek1oMAc5M9bG9hMCRq5Yx8/s320/firewalk.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> The bed of coals burned a vibrant
red-orange life in front of me. A short
wall of flames, ten inches high, licked the air lining the edges of
the bed. Escaping heat warmed the cool
autumn air. Thirty seekers of truth or
thrills encircled the controlled inferno.
Our intention was to walk over the bed of burning coals, six feet
across. The temperature of the fire, we
were told, was approximately 1200 degrees Fahrenheit. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Fear held me back. I had decided weeks ago that I would take
these steps. After all, it was only six
feet between me and my destiny as a firewalker.
I knew it was possible. I talked
to people who had done it. I had seen
pictures. I believed walking over the
fire without being burned would help me conquer fears in other areas of my
life. I knew it wouldn’t kill me. But I was afraid of burning my feet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> The first person stepped bravely across
the coals surrounded by applause and cheers.
The part of me that wanted to go first was disappointed. Seeing the sizzling flakes of red-hot coal
sticking to his feet didn’t improve my state of mind either. The second and third person walked without
visible anguish. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Finally I was ready. I ratcheted up my courage, took a breath, a
step and confronted my fear. My first
contact with the coals was liberating.
One small step for man, one giant leap for my mind. I was walking across a bed of hot coals! I knew if I breathed and stayed focused I
would not be burned. Each step was fully
conscious. My body felt like a lightning
rod hit with a burst of electricity. Tremendous
energy circulated through me, yet I was safely grounded in the earth. I reached the other side of the burning coals
safe! It felt so good that I turned
around and did it again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> The Firewalk Seminar began two and a half
hours earlier when Dan Brule, the seminar leader, came out of his house a few
minutes past 7 pm and called us together.
Dan’s one of the original therapists from the American breathwork
revival of the 1970s. He’s been teaching
spiritual breathing techniques for 20 years and firewalking almost as
long. The group made a circle around an
unlit pyre six feet high and introduced ourselves by stating our name and
intent in coming to the firewalk.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> People spoke of how crossing the fire
would help them overcome fear in other areas of their life. A joker said, “Firewalk? I’m here for the
smores.” One young man said he wanted to
add substance to his life. I said my
intent was to “experience a miracle and write an article about it.” Then, focusing on our intent, each of us lit
one of the thirty wicks, twirled pieces of newspaper, inching out of the pyre.
The human circle widened as we stepped back to avoid the roaring blaze. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> A discussion of walking over hot coals
began. Dan told us many cultures around
the world engage in the practice and said the number one rule was to remember
to breathe. He described several
theories about why people are able to walk over fire. There’s the sweaty feet theory, that the
moisture on the bottom of the feet prevents burns. The low conductivity theory, the idea that
wood is a poor conductor of heat so walking over wood coals doesn’t burn a
person. This theory was dispelled when
people at the Firewalk Institute for Research and Education (FIRE) placed metal
grills over the coals and walked on them, leaving footprints in the malleable
metal. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Dan was obviously disdainful of these
incomplete theories. He believes most
scientists disregard the element of consciousness when studying
firewalkers. Consciously using the
breath to relax turns fear into excitement and positive energy. He said achieving the appropriate
psycho-physiological state allows an individual to surpass many previous
expectations including being able to walk on fire. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> On a recent firewalk Dan led, several
people burned their feet. He attributed
this to their state of mind as they crossed the fire. He claimed that even folks who were burned
received valuable lessons from the experience.
One woman was burned so badly the blisters kept her off her feet and out
of work for two weeks. But, during those
two weeks she had the time to reflect and decided to pursue a long desired move
to another part of the country.
Possibly, one where firewalks aren’t so common.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> I felt a morbid satisfaction at the fact
that people had been burned in previous walks.
If no one ever got burned it would seem less heroic to get across
unscathed. I marveled at the fact that
no releases indemnifying Dan were signed in preparation for the walk. In our litigious society, all it would take
is one person to think, “Damn, I like this yard . . .” and linger on the coals
a bit too long. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Four others in attendance had done
firewalks before and were asked to talk about their experiences. Louise completed multiple walks safely, but
picking up Dan’s thread said the walk when she burned her feet “was the most
powerful experience” of her life. She
had the realization that the fire wasn’t burning her. She was burning her. At that moment, she jettisoned a large chunk
of victim mentality.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> In order not to be burned, she suggested
we surrender and become one with the fire.
Her belief that all life is made from the same basic elements and fire
is simply energy vibrating at a higher frequency than flesh has kept her safe
walking over 1200 degree coals on several other occasions. Dan added we could consciously vibrate our
bodies at a higher frequency by using our breath to match the vibration of the
fire. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> At this point the sharing was momentarily
interrupted as emergency vehicle sirens blared in the vicinity. The fire had grown at a good clip and was
periodically throwing off majestic clusters of sparks in the hundreds that
floated 10 to 20 feet high. I thought
the fire department was going to interrupt our walk. Dan looked uncomfortable. Then, as if to prepare us, asked aloud, “I
wonder if they’re coming for us again?”
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> He explained, “Sometimes the neighbors
call when the see the fire through the trees and think someone has set a fire
in the woods. Last time the fire
department couldn’t find us and had to come through the woods.” Fortunately, the sirens moved out of our
vicinity in about a minute. However, the
frightened part of me regretted that the fire department hadn’t ended the walk. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> We were invited to share our fears about
walking over the fire. Obviously the fear of getting burned was high on most
people’s list. One man wanted to know
where the nearest hospital was. A woman
questioned what was the procedure if we did get burned. Dan suggested treating the wound with the
opposite of fire: cold water. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> I was concerned about the conflict between
seriousness and silliness. On one level,
firewalking is a dramatic self-improvement technique; in another way, it seems
an egotistic waste of time and money. I
wondered, “How is this going to help me with my problems?” Unless you’re a firefighter, the experience
doesn’t seem to have a lot of practical value.
A middle-aged man captured the mood when he said, “You gotta be fucking
nuts to do this.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Need I mention that my friend
who accompanied me to take pictures and I were the only Black people in attendance? Not that Black people don't do crazy shit, but it's usually not so deliberate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Being burned was a horrible thought, but
there was also fear of emotional pain from not walking. The potential embarrassment of coming this
far and chickening out was real to me.
Although Dan said several times that it was a valid choice not to walk
the coals, there was a tacit agreement among the group that we had come to
firewalk. I think all but two of us
did. I felt like I would be a coward if
I didn’t do it, but I was very aware of the razor thin line between bravery and
stupidity. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Many of us feared the emotional fall-out
from walking and being burned. Dan told
us the teenaged son of the woman who was out of work for two weeks after the
last walk humbled her by asking, “Jeez, mom, what did you expect?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Finally, as darkness engulfed the sky and
the nearly full moon could be glimpsed through the trees participants were
encouraged to complete the sentence, “I am going to walk because . . .” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Rejoinders included: to prove it to
myself; because it’s possible; to be a catalyst for moving forward in other
areas; to prove I am worthy of the experience; because I’m scared to death; to
understand that level of consciousness, to show other people what is possible;
because I am greater than it (whoa, I felt sorry for that guy’s feet). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> All too soon, Dan broke down the raging
shoulder high fire with a shovel. He
spread the glowing coals over the ground, about an inch or two deep and
six-feet across. The scared part of me
thought, “Hey this is too soon. Can’t we
talk some more?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> A man brought out a large drum to keep the
rhythm and a woman started chanting songs in praise of the fire. Most of us clapped, swayed and sang to
release more energy and speed up our vibrations. A few danced a joyous circle around the
perimeter of the coals.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> My friend who came to take pictures stood
on the other side of the circle with camera poised. A thought arose to give her an indication
that I was about to walk, but I decided it was unimportant. I was full of a more serious thought. I was communing with the fire. My consciousness had merged, to some degree,
with the flames. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Looking at pictures taken during the
evening I was pleased to have photographic documentation of myself going into a
trance. Make no mistake; this was a
self-induced state of altered consciousness capable of producing miracles. Later, telling the story to others, my friend
who took pictures aptly reported that I was “in the zone.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> I was disappointed that coals were spread
only six feet across. It seemed too
easy. I’ve seen photos and read stories
of people walking on coals up to 20 or more feet across. I’m told the record firewalk is 320
feet. Although I felt great fear before
walking over six-feet of flames, I had to prove to myself that I could handle a
greater challenge. So as soon as I hit
one end of the coals, I immediately turned around and walked back across the
fire to where I started in the circle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> My feet felt the heat as I passed. I even felt the chips of burning wood
sticking to the bottom of my feet like the tip of a match that gets stuck to
your finger. It felt delicious to reach
the end of the coals and step into the dew moistened grass. Examining my feet after the firewalk I saw no
indication of blisters or burns. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Rare are the states I’ve enjoyed that
matched the satisfaction and pleasure I derived from walking over the
coals. Various experiences with saints,
skydiving and sex (not at the same time) are analogous, but firewalking was
different. This was simply me and one of
the elements in deep communion. It was
definitely a peak experience. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Once I walked over the fire, I felt relief
and excitement. It was easier than I
thought. I realized most activities that
help us grow are scary when we start, but taking action is seldom as painful as
the failure of frightened resistance. I
feel a good amount of personal power – juice, as we say in the hood – from
walking over the coals. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 200%;"> Sometimes I look at the photos and marvel
that I had the courage to walk on burning hot coals. Then whatever challenge I’m facing, whatever
fear I’m confronting, I think, “I walked over fire. I can handle this.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-13929115499659452412012-03-31T20:53:00.000-07:002012-03-31T20:53:44.672-07:00Sacred Sex versus Corporate Sex<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I look back over my blog entries, I am happy to remember that I’ve blogged on topics not directly related to sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only post once a month and the last few months I’ve felt called to write about some aspect of sex although that is not all I want this blog to be about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, there are a lot of immature ideas about sex circulating in society, especially on the internet, so once I got started on the topic issues to address just seemed to keep growing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m okay with that, however, because my posts on sex are never just about sex, they’re about evolution and enlightenment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in that spirit, I want to share some ideas that have been generated by recent activity.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you look at my last post, you’ll still I was invited to speak at BU’s School of Public Health about my experience using porn then not only renouncing it, but also taking a public stance advocating others do the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The occasion of the BU talk was the screening of a documentary film to Public Health students about the dangers of porn consumption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the event, I posted on Facebook how I was satisfied with my talk and several men mentioned they wished they had attended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I decided to do a screening of the film in the men’s group I attend in Dorchester so all my brothers could see the documentary and we could have a serious discussion with mature men about how porn influences our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, none of the three men who expressed interest on FB showed up, but nine guys including myself did and we had a great conversation. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Most of us, however, myself included, felt the film did not do justice to the complexity and diversity of porn (think of Reefer Madness for pornography) and also offered no alternative perspective for what to do rather than consuming porn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The film was not without its good points, in fact, watching it again helped me frame the juxtaposition that I will present to you as a motivation for this article.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, we have to realize that (for the most part) those who create pornography do not have their consumer’s (much less performer’s) best interest at heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is stone cold capitalism, designed to extract the highest profit margin for the lowest investment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>History has shown that a “free market” with no public oversight leads to human slavery, hence, the patchwork of regulations preventing conscienceless corporations and their masters from totally exploiting the Earth and enslaving her inhabitants.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I am in favor of wealth creation, but so much of what goes on in the porn industry is devoid of integrity and ethics that the products cannot help but be toxic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when we leave these folks in charge of the sexual education of a population, which is the de facto position that the porn industry occupies, we end up with a huge variety of sexual and relationship malfunctions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watching this anti-porn documentary, The Price of Pleasure, with a group of conscious brothers, I realized there was a major piece of the puzzle missing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The film railed against the violent, misogynistic worldview perpetuated by most porn, but <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it offered no alternative</i></b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I would like to provide an alternative perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Porn can be thought of as Corporate Sex, it’s created with the simple idea of hooking as many consumers (mostly men) into watching as much as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much, if not most of the product, is degrading to women and men and certainly does not show the great potential of sex to awaken the higher virtues in humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if porn is Corporate Sex, the alternative is Sacred Sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sacred Sex can be intuitively understood as that which leads to genuine intimacy between partners and greater connection to the higher, more divine, more evolved part of our being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My wife, Radiant Jasmin, and I have been incorporating elements of Sacred Sexual practice into our lives since we first found love together in 1987.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">In 2009, we gave a talk at the Tantric Indian Bistro in Boston that laid down some fundamental tenets of this practice (her mic didn’t work which is why none of her comments are included).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in this first video I’ve ever posted on the internet, I invite you to see why I say I’ve used porn and I’ve used Tantra.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tantra is like Ambrosia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Porn is like dog shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You decide.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://youtu.be/0JAPVTuyWQg"></a><a href="http://youtu.be/0JAPVTuyWQg" target="_blank">http://youtu.be/0JAPVTuyWQg</a></span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-61456812278802597402012-02-09T11:09:00.000-08:002012-02-09T11:12:19.747-08:00The Price of Pleasure (review)<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Note: Because I was asked to speak at a discussion about pornography to a Public Health class at Boston University this week, I decided to break my routine and publish two posts this month - both about porn. Just for the record I"ll be back to other musings next month. </i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I watched a disturbing documentary film last weekend. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality and Relationships</i> by Chyng Sun and Miguel Picker highlights the transgressions of an industry out of control. The film documents an industry wide increase in torture scenes. I reluctantly watched a naked women being water-boarded as foreplay. It documented mainstream porn’s increase in multiple men on single woman scenes by showing a 20 on 1 interaction. Let me tell you, the image of 19 grown men standing around a woman on her knees, playing with their dicks while waiting for a blowjob, did nothing to advance the cause of healthy masculinity. Maybe most instructive was the scene at an adult toy convention where a salesman was hawking a robotic love doll. A middle aged guy fondles the robot’s tit and gives the salesmen an appreciative nod.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">That’s the rub, fellas. They’ve taken the human connection out of sex. Too many of us are settling for internet images of idealized women or strippers in clubs, neither of whom have any human connection to us. It’s sad. After watching <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Price of Pleasure</i>, I certainly didn’t feel like watching porn, but it offered no better information on what to do with my sex urge. At one point, the well known activist Gail Dines said a person who complains that anti-porners are against sex is like a person who complains that because you speak out against McDonald’s, you are against food. It’s a good analogy. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Price of Pleasure</i>, however, is not about recipes for beautiful gourmet sexuality. It’s all stick, stick, stick. You’ll have to find the carrot elsewhere. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">Of course, most anti-porners are not against sex. People speak out against porn because of the damage it does to human beings and to intimacy between partners. There is, however, a long tradition of sexual repression around the world. One reason porn is so dangerous and so pervasive is because of the vacuum of communication and media about enlightened sexual practices. Porn, unfortunately, rushes in to fill that void with the lowest common denominator. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">Those of us interested in sexual healing need to focus on the beautiful, loving, erotic interactions that real people participate in that simply are not available from actresses or animatronics devices. Clearly, there is a need for anti-porn agitation, but at the end of the day porn users need to be convinced, not only that porn is harmful, but also there is an alternative that feels even better. Porn would not be as popular as it is if people were exposed to the communicative, sensual and meditative pleasures of enlightened sex. You don’t want to eat at McDonald’s once you gain an appetite for healthy, gourmet food, but giving up the Big Mac is not always easy.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">I’m hip to the fact that a great number of men use porn. But a great number of men have credit card debt and that's not a good thing either. Just like earning financial freedom requires vision, planning and discipline, true sexual freedom must be earned with vision, planning and discipline as well. The porn experience allows only a superficial connection to our sexual being. By remaining on a shallow, surface level with our sexual partners, be they porn actresses or women we know personally, the best part of the experience is forfeited. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">One of the foundation tenets of healthy manhood must be an enlightened sexual ethic. Men simply spend too much time thinking about sex to give our vision over to cheap corrupters of the faith. We know instinctively there is so much more to sex than pornographers would have us believe. It’s ironic that these are called adult films when they are more accurately adolescent fantasies sold to viewers with underdeveloped imaginations. It’s our duty as adults to do the serious work of communicating within and beyond the sexual experience so we get to know ourselves and our partners better. That work begins by reflecting deeply on our own thoughts and feelings to determine a path that is erotically true. The work continues by aligning our deepest sexual thoughts and feelings with those of a partner. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">When we commit to visioning the ideal sexual relationship, planning its manifestation and disciplining ourselves to achieve it, few will find ourselves in front of a computer screen holding semen soaked tissues. More likely, we'll find ourselves looking deeply into the soul of another.</div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-37174631721788599852012-01-29T17:43:00.000-08:002012-01-29T17:43:16.614-08:00Porn EpiphanyLike many men, I grew up with porn. I remember seeing my first sex magazine in 4th or 5th grade. Another boy brought it to school and was passing it around. My desire to get more time with those images was so strong I manipulated my classmate by telling him if he didn't give me the magazine I would tell his mother he had it. He surrendered it and I happily sneaked it into my home. Later, I realized this was my first example of porn making you stupid. Even as a kid I wondered why my classmate didn't counter by threatening to tell my mother I had the magazine. <br />
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Due to technological advances, porn is more widely available and accepted than when that exchange occurred in the early 1970s. Porn is a multi-Billion dollar industry that affects everyone who's connected to the internet.<br />
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In 1985, when I met the woman who became my wife, my porn collection consisted of a milk crate full of magazines. Mostly over the counter stuff: some Playboys, Players, Hustlers and other magazines that had articles to read when you got tired of pursuing their primary purpose. The crate also contained an assortment of hardcore magazines showing couples exploring fantasies the art directors thought would keep men like me buying their product. I didn't try to keep the stash secret from my future wife. The porn was part of my sexual software and sharing it with my real life partner was, I thought, helpful to keep us on the same page. After all, I only held onto magazines that turned me on, so it was a good way for her to get to know what I liked.<br />
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Shortly after we started dating, I let Jasmin perused my collection. She seemed unimpressed. She had been raised in a family far more libertine than I was and she was no stranger to photos of people having sex. Her disinterest in the magazines didn't bother me. I could enjoy them without her. I had also shown the magazines to previous girlfriends and, in my experience, women didn't get excited about porn. I never shared my collection with male friends. I didn't want to masturbate with a magazine another man had fondled. But from conversations it was clear that I wasn't the only brother with a stash.<br />
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Jasmin and I made a commitment to one another and started down Intimacy Road, removing one mask after another as we went. Soon, she disclosed she had been sexually molested as a child. Not long after that, she indicted my porn collection as a contributor to the sexual exploitation of women and girls that resulted in her being incested. Because she had been photographed as part of her abuse, her sensitivity to porn was especially high.<br />
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I was blindsided by the idea that these legally purchased photos could be a factor in the criminal cruelty endured by her and other abuse victims. I wasn't, however, in a good position to argue with her feelings about being molested.<br />
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So, for the first time, I chose to address the ethical issues of porn. I imagined the models' life stories beyond the art directors' fantasies. I wondered how many of them had been sexually victimized as children and questioned what the real life women thought about the scenes they acted. I came to the conclusion that most women who had options would choose another profession and that by using porn I was playing into the subjugation of an oppressed class. After a period of serious deliberation, I decided to toss my collection. Jasmin was pleased by my decision, but didn't offer me the level of praise I felt I deserved. I think she believed she had done me a favor. Something along the lines of, "Shoot, you want to be a spiritual man you shouldn't be looking at the stuff anyway."<br />
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And important to both of us, the photos would no longer trigger memories of her abuse and I'm sure she intuitively felt that my porn use was a barrier to our closeness. Discarding the magazines was, no doubt, one small piece of the long, intense path of healing her sexual abuse trauma.<br />
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Since making that decision, I've dabbled with porn from time to time. When Jasmin and I met, I was in a luddite phase: didn't own a TV, much less a VCR, so my porn was limited to magazines. After each upgrade to our media repertoire—TV/VCR, cable and internet—I experimented with the new delivery system.<br />
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The big difference with cable and internet was, of course, no embarrassing trips to the magazine or video store. This was no small consideration. Having a dealer anonymously deliver legal samples to your door tends to increase your usage. I've abstained from internet porn most of the past six years, but a few times have found the near infinite variety of sexual titillation just a mouse click away too compelling.<br />
<br />
My feeling that garden variety porn is oppressive to women never abated (I acknowledge the possibility of making conscientious, uplifting erotic films, but that's not what's driving the porn industry). This is in direct opposition to the unspoken idea I had been raised on—that porn was just benign, male fun.<br />
<br />
When I lapsed into occasional porn viewing, my wife was patient with me. Because we are fond of sex and because the porn industry has staked a claim, erroneously as it turns out, as a purveyor of liberated sexuality; Jasmin may have subconsciously thought she should enjoy the images more than she did. But, try as we might, the back stories of the performers bothered both her and I. It became increasingly difficult for me to justify porn's use in our intimate relationship. Although I initially renounced porn because of how it affects women; as I pursued my spiritual evolution, viewing pornography became a practice that was increasingly at odds with my own sense of integrity.<br />
<br />
Then, in 2006, I read an article called "Pimps and Johns" in <i>Voice Male</i> magazine. It was written by Robert Jensen, a journalism professor and anti-porn activist. He argued that viewers of pornography as well as performers are degraded by their involvement. Personally, I know using porn usually left me feeling ashamed. My reflections sparked by the article inspired a revelation: using porn hinders the intimacy that Jasmin and I strive for in our relationship. Whether alone or with my wife, viewing porn takes time and energy away from our union and squanders it on a pseudo-relationship. Even using porn as a stimulus for marital sex is problematic because mainstream porn doesn't model healthy avenues of connection. Porn is at best "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am"—and not reflective of the deep, physically, emotionally and spiritually satisfying sex I want in my own life.<br />
<br />
And not surprisingly, I find it easier to achieve sexual pleasure and intimacy with my beloved when images of models paid to perform male fantasies aren't playing in my head.<br />
<br />
There are lots of critiques of porn from a feminist point of view. However, as men, I want us to address the ubiquity of porn and decide whether using it for sexual stimulation is leading us toward enlightened masculinity or is contributing to our being used as pawns for a corporate sexuality devoid of integrity. I've talked to many women besides my wife who are quietly disgusted by their male partner's use of porn, but just accept it as a fact of life. That's unfortunate. Porn is like sexual crack—a quick high that feels good as long as you don't think about it too much. But, ultimately, the emptiness we try and fill in this manner is only aggravated.<br />
<br />
I honor freedom of speech and freedom of the press. I'm not suggesting porn be outlawed. I spent too many years doing illegal drugs to consider that a reasonable solution. I am advocating that men examine our relationship with porn more seriously. How does using it affect our self-worth? How does viewing porn affect the way we treat real women in our lives? How does using porn contribute to sexual oppression and violence in our communities? I'm convinced with a little introspection more men will acknowledge porn's harmful effects and subsequently adjust their behavior.<br />
<br />
I stopped using porn because I'm committed to being the most empathetic human being and the best sexual partner I can. Using porn doesn't support that. I discovered more satisfying sexual software using my own creativity, listening to my partner and exploring books that deal with true sexual intimacy. Both Jasmin and I won when I let my heart, not my penis, be my guide. This path has given me more pleasure than following the jaundiced script of a pornographer exploiting my imagination for a buck.<br />
<br />
It's ironic: throwing away that milk crate full of magazines ended up being a giant step toward my true sexual liberation.Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-69879839043704051302011-12-31T17:54:00.000-08:002011-12-31T17:56:33.206-08:00Do You Know Where I'm Going To?<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Men have a reputation of not wanting to ask for directions. But it’s not always the famous male ego that prevents us from asking. Have you ever asked a stranger for directions? More often than not, the respondent knows less about your destination than you. Asking for directions reminds you that anyone is allowed to walk around the streets. If there can only be one sharpest tool in the shed, the law of averages tells you that most people you ask are not going to be that tool. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> There are four basic types of responses you can get when asking for directions. If you’re lucky, you approach someone capable of executing a clear, concise, accurate reply. You take in the info and soon you are both happily on your way. The second possibility is a respondent who cannot answer your query, but quickly reports his deficit, maybe empathizes with your plight briefly then moves on. This is significantly better than the other two options. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> The third type of respondent has a vague idea how to get where you’re going, but is incapable of transmitting this knowledge to you. Even worse, this respondent will not acknowledge his limitation and you’re caught hoping he comes up with the goods while he fumbles through the incomplete maps in his mind. The forth type is the worst. He doesn’t know, but confidently gives you bogus directions either to keep from appearing ignorant or just for his own amusement.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> You can tell when you’ve asked the right person because he intuitively turns his body, looks in the direction you want to go and points while he talks. There’s no divination required. He knows the area and can describe a logical sequence of steps to take you to your destination. You only need to listen carefully. Thank him sincerely because these respondents are rare. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Sometimes, even after an excellent start this Good Samaritan can turn into trouble. He can let your attentiveness go to his head, get too cocky and start to show off. This is when the ideal respondent starts to slip into the person who can’t give information properly. He knows where you’re going, but has poor social skills. He’s so unused to being helpful that he goes overboard and becomes confusing and irritating. This low functioning member of the human family blows the interaction by offering additional irrelevant information. After telling you to turn right at the blue house, he recounts the story of when he got drunk at a party in that house and puked in the flower pot on the porch. No wonder your parents told you, “Don’t talk to strangers.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> You can tell when you get the guy with a vague idea of where you’re going because he closes his eyes and tilts his head dramatically, consulting some internal Global Positioning System. While his eyes are closed, you should drive away because it only gets worse. When he returns to his body, he sounds like a 7<sup>th</sup> grader presenting an oral report on a book he only read the back cover of right before class. There’s a kernel of truth in there, but he’s making up some filler too. If you didn’t drive away when his eyes were closed, your best bet is nod until you can get rid of him. Then ask another person. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Occasionally, I overhear someone asking directions to a place I know how to get to. I have to hold myself back from jumping in the conversation. It’s like being in class when you know the answer and excitedly raise your hand to show everybody how smart you are. At these times, I slow down to make sure the other respondent isn’t screwing up. I’ve never had to jump in with corrections, but you never know. Once a friend and I were talking in Boston Common when a woman walked up and asked us where Boylston Street was. We both perked up with an excited “I got this” expression then immediately pointed in two different directions. We were both technically correct, but I knew by her face that we had lost all credibility with her. We clarified her exact location and agreed on the easiest way to get there, but first impressions are hard to overcome. We didn’t see her stop to ask another person, but if I was her, I would have.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> I’ve considered conducting an experiment where I ask a number of people how to get someplace that I really know how to get to, just to test the quality of their responses. Given my experience asking for directions, my hypothesis is the greatest number of people will know, but give poor directions. We live in our own heads so much that it can be easy for us to do a task, but hard to explain it to others. The ideal respondent not only understands geography, but also knows a thing or two about teaching.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> I’m not sure if the quality of responses will be different for men and women. I like talking to women, but I usually ask a man if I’m looking for directions. I probably have some sexism left in me, but I don’t ask men because I think we’re smarter. I’ve observed women are usually more nervous when I stop them on the street, especially if I quickly veer my car towards them when they’re walking on the sidewalk. I’ve found guys may not like asking for directions, but we love it when someone asks us how to get somewhere, even if we don’t know where you’re going.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Enjoy it while you can. With the ubiquity and miniaturization of GPS units soon there will be little reason to ask anyone how to get anywhere. Almost everyone will have a GPS on their body. Asking for directions in the future will be like asking someone now where to find a payphone. They just look at you sadly and say, “You don’t have a phone?”</span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-22323133978171526582011-12-04T18:42:00.000-08:002011-12-04T18:42:40.493-08:00My Wife's Friend<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I have mixed feelings about my wife’s menstruation.<span> </span>I’ve trained myself to be happy when it comes because it means we’ve navigated another month without conceiving children.<span> </span>We’re busy enough with two adolescents and don’t want to go back to the starting gate.<span> </span>So, although I welcome it from the family planning perspective, my initial reaction is often a selfish, “Damn, no sex for a week.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">To complicate the situation, Jasmin suffers from pretty bad cramps for the first few days.<span> </span>During this time, she is not in a great mood and becomes easily irritated.<span> </span>I’m often the object of her menstrual fury.<span> </span>Behavior that would not piss her off the rest of the month causes her to glare at me with annoyance, repeating the famous phrase, “You know what time of the month it is.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">My feelings about menstruation are colored by the fact that Jasmin’s cramps cause her to be irritable.<span> </span>My ability to be compassionate is sometimes lacking.<span> </span>Even though I’m happy she’s not pregnant, I get a little aggravated that I have to deal with her short-temperedness every month.<span> </span>We often have small arguments on the first or second day of her period until I decide to back off because experience tells me there is no winning at this time.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I pine for the wise old days of Moon Lodges.<span> </span>The Moon Lodge was a tradition in many Indigenous cultures.<span> </span>A separate space of honor was provided for menstruating women.<span> </span>Recognizing that this was a special time, the women would gather to reflect, relax and connect with Spirit, relieved of everyday responsibilities.<span> </span>Their regular duties were picked up by family or community members and the Lodge guests were cared for by elder women not on their menses.<span> </span>Both menstruating women and their families got a break.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Jasmin takes it easier at the start of her period but her responsibilities don’t allow her to just rest a few days straight.<span> </span>Because there’s no place she can easily go away and chill while she’s menstruating, she still has to deal with me and the kids.<span> </span>If she did hang out with a girlfriend during her time, I’d be afraid that might result in a quid pro quo of our house being visited throughout the month her cramp driven, irritable friends.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">To help me improve my attitude, I printed up a little sign that says “Moon Lodge” and tape it to our bedroom door when I notice it’s that time of the month.<span> </span>This reminds me to show more compassion for the cramps. <span> </span>I try extra hard to be patient which makes my life more pleasant as well.<span> </span>Like so many things in our fast paced society, we cannot totally experience the slower, simpler world of old, but we can use our intelligence to approximate the best parts of it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I have a vested interest in showing more empathy when Jasmin suffers from menstrual cramps.<span> </span>It helps to minimize the conflict in our relationship by acknowledging there’s a powerful, largely unseen, process that I don’t fully understand happening within her body.<span> </span>I still don’t get sex for a week, but there’s less tension in our home.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I know all women wouldn’t want to use a traditional Moon Lodge.<span> </span>But, as a society, we could incorporate more Moon Lodges for women who do want it.<span> </span>Honoring the sacred time of a woman’s menstruation in a conscious way supports greater harmony in all relationships.<span> </span>President Obama might even support an initiative to establish Moon Lodges across the country.<span> </span>It’s not that far-fetched an idea.<span> </span>It just depends on how bad the First Lady’s cramps are.</div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-65354310253127788092011-10-31T17:08:00.000-07:002011-10-31T17:08:37.088-07:00Mary Jane<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I met this girl before I was really a man</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I was just a teenager of almost sixteen,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">but before my next birthday came around</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">the way this chick had me hooked was obscene.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Like all nice grooves it started friendly enough.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">She was the answer to my every dream.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Mary Jane lifted my mood when I was sad</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">and she knew everyone on the scene.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We had a pretty good run at first.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We saw each other almost every night.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">It was all laughter and fun and bliss and joy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I never once remember having a fight.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But I knew that we spent too much time together.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I neglected school, family, other friends.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">And I spent way too much money on this girl</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Her hand in my wallet had to end.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">So I approached her reasonably and said</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We need to have a short separation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">She just laughed in my face and replied,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I own you, boy. You can’t walk offa my plantation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I said, you don’t know me, woman </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">and puffed up my chest, indignant at the slight</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But I guess she did know me because </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">in her arms</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"> I lay at the end of that night.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">That marked a changed in our relationship</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I still loved her but now more out of fear</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I wanted to avoid how I felt away from her</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">a combination of anger and despair.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">So I started being with her all the time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We still had lots of friends that we shared.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But I felt resentment of her power over me</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">and knew one day I'd escape if I dared.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">If I hadn’t met a new friend who showed me true love</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I might have taken Mary Jane to my grave</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But my new friend looked me in the eyes and said,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Man, that woman has made you a slave.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">My will power awoke.<span> </span>I developed a spine</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">and told Mary Jane she must go.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Like most abusers, she was a little thick</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">It took her a while to understood No.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">This time when I removed her claws from my heart</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I set up a boundary she could not penetrate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">She tried to come back many, many times;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">but my love for her had turned into hate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Years later now, I no longer hate Mary Jane.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">but she’s still not welcome in my life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I gave her more power than any partner should have.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">She was an okay girlfriend, but a lousy wife.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I usually don’t speak against her in public.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">She’s got a lot of passionate defenders</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But I finally decided to tell you my story</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">In case you too are trying to suspend her.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Mary Jane.</span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-71250488811335031402011-09-29T18:33:00.000-07:002011-09-29T18:33:45.485-07:00The Old White Man in the Clouds<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span></span>I grew up thinking of God as an old White man, with a long white beard, wearing a flowing white robe, living above puffy white. Then the Black Power movement kicked into high gear when I was about six years old.<span> </span>Like a powerful mental laxative, it loosened up some of the hardened bullshit that had already caked in my young mind.<span> </span>One of the ideas it reformatted was my notion of God.<span> </span>It took a while, because there is truth in the words of the Jesuit missionary Francis Xavier, who said, “Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man.”<span> </span>Meaning, of course, that humans are most susceptible to brainwashing when we are children.<span> </span>It took me a long time to come to terms with that old White guy in the clouds. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The image of God as an old White man was supplemented with the image of a young, White, hippie Jesus Christ.<span> </span>My youth corresponded with the heyday of the hippie, and I remember falling in love with the musical <i>Godspell</i> when my parents took me to see it.<span> </span>Unknowingly, I was yearning for an approachable God, and the play brought the Gospels to life in a way I could understand.<span> </span><i>Jesus Christ Superstar</i> was another major media event that encouraged thoughts of God as a young White male.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> Except for the occasional wedding or funeral, the only church I attended as a child was an Episcopal one, with a big stained glass window behind the altar that showed a full body image of a Caucasian, long-haired Jesus wearing a simple robe with a gentle lamb at his feet.<span> </span>In my earliest memories, a conservative White male cleric holds forth in front of the altar.<span> </span>As the neighborhood transitioned from mostly White to mostly Black, an Afro-wearing Black minister took his place.<span> </span>Alas, too late for me—during his tenure, I eventually won the ongoing argument with my mother and successfully bailed on the church, claiming it was full of hypocrites.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> I’m sure it was that image of the all-powerful White man sitting in the clouds that I was rejecting when I became an atheist for a short time in my teens.<span> </span>Soon after, though, I became fascinated with the doctrine of Rastafari, which proclaimed the divinity of Haile Selassie, the Ethiopian monarch from 1925 to 1975.<span> </span>Rastas hail Marcus Garvey as a modern-day John the Baptist who foretold the coming of a Black God, Emperor Selassie.<span> </span>This was heady stuff for a young Black man who had grown up with ideas and images of only White gods.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> Growing up spiritually curious in urban America, I couldn’t escape the Nation of Islam’s declaration that another Black (or, at least, a mysterious Middle Eastern looking) man, W. D. Fard, was God and Elijah Muhammad was his messenger.<span> </span>Digging a little deeper into that vein, I found Father Divine, the Five Percenters, Noble Drew Ali, and a whole assortment of Black men claiming divinity.<span> </span>Some of these guys had built large movements supporting their divinity.<span> </span>Even though I declined the Kool-Aid from any of these professed messiahs, my youthful thinking expanded to consider that Black men too could be Gods. </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> These African-lineage Godmen, as well as more sedate Black theologians, usurped the monopoly of the old White male God and the hippie Christ in my mind.<span> </span>Lots of people in my community proclaimed the “hair like wool” described in the Gospels as belonging to Jesus could only belong to a Black man.<span> </span>Folks in this camp said Jesus was Black or brown and that White racists had perverted the truth to make him a blond-haired, blue-eyed White.<span> </span>Considering the other foolishness I saw Whites do in order to oppress Blacks, this supreme deceit seemed within the realm of possibility.<span> </span> </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> For years, I had a picture on my wall of a brown-skinned, dreadlocked Jesus to counteract some of the negative, race-based theology I was raised on. Around this time I was blessed with a deep meditation during which I realized that God was essentially energy and was everywhere, albeit more concentrated in some places than others.<span> </span>I became less fixated on the physical image of God and even began to understand why orthodox Muslims refrain from portraying any human representation of the divine.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> It would not be overstating the experience to say it was a dividing line in my life.<span> </span>I’ve spent the better part of three decades trying to incorporate the energy and love that I glimpsed as God’s true nature in my everyday life.<span> </span>It’s not always easy, but it is always rewarding—at least in hindsight.<span> </span>Initially, I tried a macro approach and tried to save the world.<span> </span>I joined the All African Revolutionary Party, a radical political organization trying to bring socialism to Africa.<span> </span>Eventually that method seemed too slow to honor the divine energy I had tapped into during the meditation.<span> </span>So I joined the Guardian Angels Safety Patrol and tried to stop violent crime in my city.<span> </span>Soon, that seemed too reactionary a tactic to pay homage to the divine energy I knew in my better moments was inside everyone and everything.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> Then I fell in love.<span> </span>Really in love.<span> </span>With a beautiful woman I was blessed to marry.<span> </span>I’ll spare you all the details of that brain-numbing, heart-expanding series of events.<span> </span>If you’ve been there, you know.<span> </span>If you haven’t, you wouldn’t believe me.<span> </span>It dawned on me that our relationship was somewhere I could practice incorporating this awareness of the divine on a regular basis.<span> </span>It was clear to me that the energy called “God” animated every living thing, yet I often got so angry with my dearest—animated by God, whom I loved—that it was sick and sad, confusing and amusing.<span> </span>Around this time, I also settled on a career where I was privileged to work with people, helping them fine-tune their relationships as another strategy to honor my meditative experience.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> I studied yoga, thinking it would help me ground this mystical awareness in my own nervous system.<span> </span>Through this practice, I was introduced to the pantheon of Hindu deities.<span> </span>It was not a contradiction for me to understand that Hindus were actually monotheists.<span> </span>It was apparent that all the various Hindu incarnations of God represented that same underlying energy I had recognized in my deep meditation years earlier.<span> </span>And I liked the fact that unlike the tradition I grew up in, in Hinduism there were female representations of God as well.<span> </span>Lakshmi, Kali, Saraswati and others had achieved the highest level of consciousness while in female bodies.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> It took me a while to realize how significant this was.<span> </span>Very naturally, I started noticing female representations of God in other traditions; Earth Goddesses, Quan Yin, and Mother Mary all attracted my attention. At the same time I started noticing the lack of feminine energy in some religious systems.<span> </span>I was struck that the Christian Trinity includes the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and it dawned on me that the glaring lack of the Divine Feminine in that triumvirate was akin to the dominant-culture hocus-pocus of depicting God only as a White male.<span> </span>I began to think of the Holy Spirit as female to create some gender balance. The Heavenly Father, the Divine Mother, and the Holy Son just made more sense.<span> </span>Of course, that got me thinking of the Divine Daughter, and this too was good. </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> In this way, my conception of God and my conception of women expanded.<span> </span>In a White racist, male chauvinist society it’s essential that the most powerful, pervasive image of God is that of a White male.<span> </span>I don’t think the Creator of our magnificent universe need be confined to one human body, but to the extent that God is idealized in a body it’s crucial to the White men who try and control the planet that this body is both White and male. </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> For me, it was liberating to see God inhabiting all people and all of nature.<span> </span>A deep hurt in my psyche was healed when I gave myself permission to see God as African, Indian, Chinese, or any other ethnic identity.<span> </span>Understanding that God is also beyond the body. <span> </span>Another wound I was hardly aware of healed when I chose to see God as not only male, but also female, as well as having transcended human gender characteristics.<span> </span>As a man who respects and believes in women, this was an important paradigm shift.<span> </span>I had already abandoned my more blatant sexist thinking, but the revelation that there were feminine models of the Supreme caused me honor women more not out of my magnanimity, but because of theirs.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><span> </span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"> It’s an ongoing practice and I often slip.<span> </span>The challenge is not simply undoing sexist or racist thinking, it’s dismantling egocentric thought.<span> </span>I can easily think the world revolves around me, all my ideas are best and it’s in everyone’s best interest to exalt me.<span> </span>Sexism and racism are special forms of grandiosity that reinforce the egocentric thinking of privileged groups by promoting an erroneous cultural norm that says the world should revolve around men and Whites.<span> </span>Deep reflection is the best cure I know for this dangerous form of mind game.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Today, if I consider that old White man in the clouds and reflect on my revelations about divinity, race and gender, I see him smile and another part of my psyche heals.</span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-25675610894308937042011-08-31T18:46:00.000-07:002011-08-31T18:46:56.648-07:00Friday Night Fights<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Mansfield, MA – 400 blood thirsty patrons crowd into the grand ballroom of the Holiday Inn.<span> </span>Ninety percent swing a penis between their legs, a sprinkling of children included and just enough women to keep heteros awake to the possibility.<span> </span>But, these women are not divas or soccer moms.<span> </span>These women enjoy seeing a man get his head handed to him.<span> </span>These women get charged by seeing a weak man beat down.<span> </span>These women came to watch professional Mixed Martial Arts.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The men too are cut from a certain cloth.<span> </span>No PETA members in this house, no Birkenstock wearing hippies, these are Harley men who wore Timberlands before rappers made ‘em fashionable.<span> </span>The large parking lot is full.<span> </span>There’s a high percentage of landscaping, plumbing and electrical contracting vehicles.<span> </span>And lots of pick-ups, all American made.<span> </span>If this crowd had an exclusive to pick the president, Sarah Palin would now be attending state funerals in warm, sunny places.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Not all the necks are red, though.<span> </span>Like women, there are enough Blacks to make a brother comfortable that if shit kicked off, surely some of the Whites are going to their glory too.<span> </span>The brothers are all a type as well.<span> </span>No gangsta wannabes or playa pimps here.<span> </span>The Black men share a disciplined toughness with the Whites.<span> </span>Walking into this joint is like walking into a bar where you don’t wanna start no unnecessary shit because everybody is packing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m here to see a friend fight. <span> </span>Lord knows why I want to do that.<span> </span>From the start, I had a bad feeling about the whole thing.<span> </span>In our crew, Jessie was one of the warriors.<span> </span>Years in a dojo caused him to spontaneously pepper you with random strikes and blocks just walking down the street.<span> </span>He did Muy Thai like a trucker does coffee.<span> </span>It was always there and if it wasn’t visible you could bet he was thinking about it.<span> </span>But he had been out of the ring for 11 years.<span> </span>Even Ali couldn’t come back against the ass kicker called age.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Despite being 37 and having no professional fights since Bill Clinton was getting blown by Monica Lewinsky, the opportunity to earn some fast cash was too strong to resist.<span> </span>I couldn’t tell him it was a bad idea.<span> </span>By the time I heard about it, he had already signed the contract.<span> </span>Besides I would have told Ali not to fight the Foreman comeback, so what did I know?<span> </span>But when I saw the fight poster and compared Jessie’s shirtless photo with the shirtless photo of his opponent, I was worried.<span> </span>The other guy was 15 years younger than him, bigger and buffer.<span> </span>The photo clearly showed Jessie’s saggy arms and chest had succumbed to the law of gravity.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s where my head was.<span> </span>Two weeks before the fight, my car got slammed by a hit and run driver.<span> </span>The left side of my head got clocked against the window.<span> </span>It was bruised and tender.<span> </span>I had a bad headache.<span> </span>After the drama and the adrenaline of the collision died down, my first thought was, “Damn, this is how Jessie’s gonna feel when that dude kicks his ass.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Despite my misgivings, I attended not only because I wanted to support my friend, but the experience hound in me was aroused.<span> </span>I had seen fights in school, even participated in a couple, and I fought in a half a dozen tournaments when I was studying karate as a teen.<span> </span>But I had never seen a professional fight, unless you count the time my mother took me to a fake wrestling match at the Boston Garden.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Even though I’m a peace loving man, the thought of controlled mayhem excited me and I knew deep down I was not going just to support Jessie.<span> </span>Like all the other Neanderthals, I wanted to see somebody get his ass kicked.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Fortunately, the referees prevented the fulfillment of that desire.<span> </span>The half dozen matches I watched that night were so mismatched that the refs kept jumping in to separate the fighters before any serious damage was done.<span> </span>I paid thirty bucks to see these playground scuffles and was not entirely pleased.<span> </span>But neither was I gonna start booing the emphasis on safety.<span> </span>If somebody else had started booing, I might of joined in, but I couldn’t justify starting the screams for blood.<span> </span>It was just as well.<span> </span>Jessie’s fight only lasted a minute before the referee stepped in to stop the other guy from kicking his ass.</span></div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-81207697294798327702011-07-31T19:18:00.000-07:002011-07-31T19:18:26.992-07:00Living Sacred Relationships<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>Friday was Jasmin and my 22<sup>nd</sup> wedding anniversary.<span> </span>I can say without doubt that I love my wife more today than when we were married.<span> </span>I still don’t love her perfectly, or unconditionally, but I am learning more about love everyday.<span> </span>I’m also prepared to go out on a limb and say the ability to love is essential for the continuation of the species.<span> </span>I used to be more concerned with big picture stuff like racial oppression, international violence, and getting my next bag of weed than learning to love.<span> </span>While I still find those things interesting (except the weed), I now believe that nothing is more compelling than learning and practicing how to create a Sacred Relationship.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>A Sacred Relationship is simply a bond between two people that serves God.<span> </span>The relationship becomes a vehicle to bring God’s love into the world.<span> </span>Like in AA, non-religious types can substitute Higher Power for God and each person is responsible for developing her own understanding of what God is.<span> </span>It doesn’t matter to me whether you call God Christ, Krishna or Quan Yin.<span> </span>The important thing is having something more expansive, compassionate and intelligent than the partners to guide you towards love.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>In this post, I want to touch on two elements of a Sacred Relationship.<span> </span>First is communication.<span> </span>The ability to send and receive information effectively is essential.<span> </span>However, basic as this is, I still screw it up almost daily and remember way worse examples from my own life.<span> </span>We all know how to listen.<span> </span>When we first meet a person we feel drawn to, we listen great – sometime for hours at a time.<span> </span>But soon we’re cutting off our loved one, disagreeing nastily, refusing to talk and frowning our foreheads at the very sight of her.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>Learning to really listen to Jasmin and share how I feel prompted a fundamental shift in my awareness of love.<span> </span>These skills (listening and sharing) have created in me an ability to love that did not exist before.<span> </span>This form of intimacy is so much more important than sex.<span> </span>In fact, sex is just one simple method of communication.<span> </span>If you don’t learn emotional intimacy through communication, sexual intimacy is impossible.<span> </span>You might have good mutual masturbation, but you’ll never understand the true potential of sexual union if you cannot communicate with your clothes on.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>The second element of a Sacred Relationship I want to briefly mention is forgiveness.<span> </span>You’ll never get past the honeymoon without practicing forgiveness.<span> </span>One of my teachers says, “You start out as soul mates and end up as cell mates.”<span> </span>Half the couples who get married will divorce.<span> </span>Why do so many intelligent, prosperous, loving people make public commitments (often initiated by expensive ceremonies) and a year, or a decade, later decide they were wrong?<span> </span>Lack of forgiveness surely plays a role.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>We’re less than our best most of the time.<span> </span>We and our partners will make mistakes.<span> </span>We and our partners will compound our mistakes by not communicating about them.<span> </span>If we cannot accept our partner’s mistakes, we put the nail in the coffin of our love.<span> </span>We might as well bury it.<span> </span>Of course, some patterns of severe emotional or physical abuse are best forgiven from a long distance, say, several states away from the offending ex.<span> </span>But most relationship conflict is over money and sex, not violence.<span> </span>Both problems are workable with more effective communication leading to deeper intimacy: emotionally, physically and financially.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>Let me wrap this up with a quick review.<span> </span>One, I am happier in my relationship today than when I was married 22 years ago and believe advocating Sacred Relationship is one of the most important things any of us can do.<span> </span>Two, learning to communicate: to send and receive information from our partner is fundamental to Sacred Relationships.<span> </span>Three, forgiveness, accepting life with all its apparent flaws, is crucial to love.<span> </span>All of us are incompetent at intimacy to some degree.<span> </span>Consequently, forgiveness is essential to deepening intimacy.<span> </span>And, if you’re wondering whether patterns of abuse in your relationship are cause for forgiveness from a distance, consult a therapist who understands controlling behavior in couples.</div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2267508374721674050.post-45067213114374947632011-01-31T15:12:00.000-08:002011-01-31T15:12:17.971-08:00I Used to be a News Junkie<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span>©</span>2011 Haji Shearer</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">For over six months I’ve been on a news fast.<span> </span>For years I was getting more and more frustrated with the insipidness of the media.<span> </span>I’m not just talking supermarket tabloids or old school newspapers, but the whole shebang.<span> </span>I used to listen to NPR on my commute to and from home; I’d scan the Boston Globe online version while at work.<span> </span>If I got home around 6:30, which was often, I’d transition into the house with Brian Williams and later in the evening, I’d check out events from an African-American perspective on theroot.com and sometimes hit the Christian Science Monitor’s website for a different take on world events.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yet, more and more, I couldn’t escape the feeling that it was all bullshit.<span> </span>Random House defines news as “reports of recent or new events.”<span> </span>Recent maybe, but this shit sure as hell wasn’t new.<span> </span>Every day, it was the same old crap, recycled by the same old tired voices.<span> </span>If there was a “big story,” which could be anything from a storm to a terror attack, that led the program and got looked at from every conceivable, superficial angle that could be mustered.<span> </span>I felt like I would scream if I saw one more “newscaster” asking some schmo out for a walk in a storm, “Have you had enough snow yet?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If there was no big story, politics dominates with the expected bias determined by who paid the bills. <span> </span>And, don’t get me started on the self-absorbed meteorologists who get twice as much time as they need to tell me their weather guess for the next day, or the parochial sportscasters who treat the neighboring city like it’s full of Stalinists in 1947. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“New” media on the web is rarely better – same old crap, different format.<span> </span>When I turned away from a newscast, paper or website, rather than feeling edified, I often had that uncomfortable feeling I used to get after looking at porn.<span> </span>Like, watching this may not have been the worst thing I could have done, but I have wasted part of my life that I will never get back.<span> </span>I sometimes thought about not participating in the sham, but voices in my head about being an informed citizen always kept me going back.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The oil “spill” finally got me.<span> </span>By the end of June 2010, I felt like I would go insane if I turned on the TV or clicked onto the net and saw one more image of British Petroleum’s crude oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico. <span></span>I decided on a voluntary ban on radio, TV, paper and internet news. The thing about big stories is as much as these disasters affect my world, knowing the ugly daily details are just about useless.<span> </span>Maybe some people were inspired to stop driving, but the connection between our cars and the oil disaster is minimized, or non-existent, in the news cycle.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">During September 2001, I probably spent 100 hours absorbing information on the Terrorist Attacks.<span> </span>Most of it was irrelevant to my life.<span> </span>I learned little about the poverty in Afghanistan, or how British colonial rule devastated the region.<span> </span>The media got me all jacked up to keep coming back and consume the meaningless trivia they reported.<span> </span>I was addicted to news crack.<span> </span>It wasn’t nourishing.<span> </span>It didn’t improve my quality of life.<span> </span>And most of the time, it wasn’t even fun. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Contrast my 9/11 or BP Oil disaster experience with the recent big story of the Arizona Congresswoman shot at a political rally. <span> </span>Without consuming media, I learned she’s a Democrat, was shot in the head and – amazingly – survived.<span> </span>That over a dozen other people were shot, many died, that Sarah Palin had targeted this woman’s (district) in crosshairs on her website and consequently many (typically left) commentators were blaming Palin for the rancorous mood that lead to the killings.<span> </span>Oh, and according to some media, it wasn’t an actual “terrorist,” but a “young, mentally ill, white man” who caused all the mayhem.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I got all this from talking to folks and reading friends’ FB posts.<span> </span>That’s all I need to know.<span> </span>I feel all the compassion I can for the Congresswoman without hearing the day by day details of her struggle for life, and I have as much empathy as possible for the homegrown terrorist without knowing the details of how his mind got so twisted.<span> </span>Enough already!<span> </span>I want to focus on more life affirming ideas.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So what am I doing with the time I used to devote to “news?”<span> </span>I used to enjoy screen time especially when I eat, so sometimes I watch stand-up comics on YouTube or presentations on ted.com.<span> </span>The Ted presentations are news for me to a degree that the pabulum on newscasts could never be.<span> </span>And when I finish a Ted talk, unlike when I visit most news sites, I’m thinking about constructive solutions rather than focusing on depressing problems.<span> </span>And the insightful social commentaries given by the brilliant comics I love are still as relevant as when Chris Rock, George Carlin, Richard Pryor and others, first delivered them.<span> </span>I’m also reading more books and magazines when I eat, talking to people or, get this, <i>thinking about the food I’m eating</i>.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When I started my news fast on July 1, I committed to doing six months, so I could have started back on January 1, but I realized I didn’t want to.<span> </span>Unlike porn, I don’t really miss it.</div>Hajihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01299235093953344590noreply@blogger.com2